Revise essay four

I am going to revise essay four about my car. My focus is going to be cars as part of our indentity ( the ownership of our car) and how we rely on our cars for just about everything, going to work, school, visiting family, going to stores, etc. In my essay i give examples of the accidents i have experienced through driving my car. Also how cars are material objects and how sometimes they do result in getting damaged, and when the damage is severe enough we feel hopless without our cars because we can no longer drive to the places we need to attend to in our everyday lives.But that is part of owning a car and knowing eventually our cars will end up in the trash compactor because they do not last forever, sadly so. I am going to use each story to devlop a different point of car ownership and identity.

draft for essay four

I bought it from Locandro Motors, it is a 2000 red Chevrolet Cavalier, and I was so excited! Like everyone the day u buy your first car is one of the greatest feelings you encounter throughout our life. I remember searching for cars all day long and I finally settled on a white cavalier but right before I settled for that, which I didn’t really like I stopped at one more place. That is where I spotted my red lady bug, but there was one problem, this car was about a thousand dollars over what I had to spend. Thus I told the car salesman that I was deciding between this one and a white cavalier down the street at another lot, and the white car was a thousand dollars cheaper. Within seconds he said I’ll drop the price and you can have it, I was thrilled. I also felt in high spirits because I was only seventeen and I bargained with the car salesman into giving it to me for a thousand dollars cheaper. That was done with a little manipulation when I told him I would just have to buy the one at the other lot and sure enough he caved in like I planned he would, so I felt I got a great deal, and believe me I did. This car is a trooper because after all I still am driving it.
The next morning I was anxious to clean the entire thing, inside and out. Considering it was a used car and I am a little obsessive about cleanliness I wanted to really give my new car a good cleaning. I brought the car to the car wash and I took wipes and wiped down the dashboard, seats, radio, basically everything inside the car. The inside of the car was in great condition, but I was surprised and annoyed when I found an old French fry in the middle counsel. I remember the guy at the auto shop told me a lady owned the car before I bought it. So in my head when I found the fry I still remember thinking, “what a pig she was”, how could she do that, it’s disgusting, when really I was just disgusted that I had to clean it up. After I cleaned the inside I brought it through the car wash so the outside would get cleaned too and while it was going through I brought a new air freshener, spray for the car, and mats. I felt much better and now I was even more excited because don’t we all love our things when there all cleaned up.
About a month after I had my license my friends and I drove to jersey garden mall. We were on the turnpike and my one friend yelled GO that’s the exit and I quit switched lanes, and yes a car hit me right in the rear. Luckily the other driver and me were on the same page, nothing was done to either one of our cars really, maybe a small scratch so we said goodbye, and went on our jolly way. I was not calling the police a month after my license especially because I didn’t know whose fault it was and I kind of thought it was mine., and if it was my insurance would have skyrocketed and him I never knew his story but I’m guessing he didn’t want the cops involved for his own reasons.
Another lucky incident was a block away from my house. Yes its true in the blink of an eye, right around the block from your house, it happens. Well I stopped at a stop sign and there was a lady right in front of me and I looked down for a second and went to go, thinking she had already went and a very little bump it was. Although when she got out of the car I did as well, and I saw she had two kids in her car and a baby. I was petrified especially when I heard the baby crying. I remember praying please don’t let there be something wrong, I hope the little bump scared the baby or the person in the car yelled when they got hit and made that baby cry , please don’t let there be anything wrong with the baby and there wasn’t. Once again there was nothing on her car so she said what is the point should we call the cops and I said nope, there’s no damage and the baby’s okay I’m going to be on my way. That I knew would have totally been my fault, I hit her from the back but since there was no damage I was clear.
A couple years went by and the lady bug and I were extra careful. That is for only a time of course because don’t we all have accidents us more then others I thought, but she is a trooper. Well it was a Sunday afternoon and it was cold and snowy so my friends and I decided to go the bar and watch football. On the way home I was driving and again right around the block from my house, I stepped on my brakes to stop and they locked and the lady buy slid into a curb. Boy did I not know that this was going to take a little bit of a toll on her. As I drove home my car was shaking like never before and the next day, Monday, I had class. That morning I drove to school and it was the most aggravating ride of my life. It takes me about twenty five minutes to get to school but not on this day. When I hit the curb I messed up my alignment on my car, so since it was off it shook uncontrollably the entire time. I can describe that holding my wheel was like holding a jackhammer, so my hands were killing me by the end of the ride. And on top of that I could not go over 45 mph so I was all the way in the left lane hazards on all the way to school. I laugh about it now but at the time I was not so happy. I made sure that my step father fixed the car that day because I could not take another trip like that, I suffered the one day, that was it.
I can conclude that this car got beat up but it is still going. It never gave me one problem mechanically and we always made out in our minor incidents. And even after this last story we are still okay. I was driving to my first day of sophomore field in a school. I went to make a left hand turn, my arrow was green and I was halfway through when a guy smacked right into the passenger side of my car. My car did a three sixty almost and I got a little jumbled around. The feeling was traumatizing for me and for the lady bug. I pulled into the gas station right next to me and I got out of my car, honestly I wanted to cry. My entire passenger side was pushed in and the car that hit me had a scratch of red paint on the front bumper. Technically I believe it was NOT my fault, he hit me I was already making my turn. But the laws of New Jersey speak for this, he had the right away and I was turning so I am at fault. Unfortunately my insurance for my car only has liability and does not cover collision. The man, the owner of the gas station who saw the whole thing, and I agreed there was no reason for a police report because he had no damage and it was my fault. I could not afford another car and it would cost about two thousand dollars to fix my car. Logically I thought I had this car for about five years, I brought it for four thousand, it is not worth it to get it fixed, and that would be a waste of money because the car is not even worth that now. Thus I said I will b graduating in about a year and then I can buy myself a car once I’m done with school and can work full time, but for the time being I am going to drive this. It still runs great and has no problems really. I don’t use or need that door to open I’m the driver .The only problem is my passengers because if they want to come in they must use my door and climb over into the seat. The door has not opened since the accident and is stuck and I don’t want to open it because I’m afraid it wont shut and then ill really be screwed.
I realized the car is just as perfect as it was when I brought it. I don’t have a problem getting in; I have a door that opens. So why stress the fact about my passenger side door, some times you have to suck things up and just deal with it. Yes my friends rarely have me drive because boy is it an annoyance for them having to climb in and out , but its an annoyance for me as well because when I pick them up I have to get out let them in and when I drop them off I have to get out to let them out. Yet it’s still safe and the seatbelt works, the door is just handicapped. And anyway who ever heard of buying a car for their passengers! My red lady bug has been through it all with me and has never let me down, she is a real trooper. And to be honest when the time does come I don’t think any brand new car could ever replace her.

Ideas for draft four

For my fourth draft I am going to write about my car. I am going to start by writing about the first year of having my car. I also want to tell a story of the lady who had it before me. Then I am going to talk about the little fender benders I got into when I first got my license. The three burn holes on the roof of my car from a lit cigarette hitting the interior of the roof which one is from me and the rest my friends all of them by accident of course. I am going to go into my college years of having the car and the time I hit a curb and it messed up my alignment on my car when it was snowing and my brakes locked and my car skidded.The next day I had to drive to Kean on the parkway going forty miles an hour because the whole thing was shaking. Then I will talk about the accident I got into last year which pushed in my passenger side door and it can no longer open it. Thus the object is my car and my focus is all the things that happened to the car the past five years I had because it’s been a long and bumpy road for us both.

description of a place

Hadleigh Lane, North Brunswick is where I lived up until I was about six. When I go there I see the complex I lived in. There are condos and town houses that surround my condo. In between each condo there is a field which is covered in bright green grass, it almost looks fake. This is where we would play kickball, hiding seek, or tag. I had a balcony because we were the corner condo on the first floor. There were three floors to my building. There is a picture of me when I was about six I went to the third floor and stood on the pillar of our condo, I was a daring child and loved climbing. On the other side of the grass there was a beautiful lake. This too was surrounded by grass and had a fountain in the middle. There were several geese and geese droppings near this lake. I always watched where i walked because i refused to get that on the bottom of my sneakers. I still remember the square green cemented object. I was never really sure of its purpose but it was about ten feet from the lake. And on this thing I use to do cartwheels and round offs off it because it had about a five foot drop on the other side. If you walked up from my condo there was a main street which had a big sidewalk that went down the road and took you too each complex of condos, we would walk or roller blade along that almost everyday. There was an awning on the sidewalk and we would past it everyday and everyday I would stop because there were always neat rocks underneath it and I would always choose my favorite one. Every time I drive past the condo I get a feeling of comfort and I remember what it feels like to be a child because all my memories there are from my childhood.

draft three

When I hear the name Tyler, I automatically think of my three year old nephew, Tyler John. My sister found out she was pregnant when she was twenty years old and her boyfriend, the baby’s father was twenty one. After repeating those ages I’m sure to add that having a baby was not planned for them at all, they were too young and definitely not ready to be parents. I can still remember the day my sister found out she was pregnant. We were all sitting in my back room, my sister, her friend, my friend, my mother and I. My sister was late for her period and on that day she went upstairs to take the pregnancy test and about five minutes later I heard her call for her friend, then me, and after my mother. I ran up the stairs and she said it came out positive. I remember feeling so scared for her, my mother is going to kill her I thought. Seconds later my mother came up the stairs and my sister told her. By surprise my mother smiled and said okay you’re keeping it right, my sister agreed and that is how Tyler John became my nephew.
During my sisters pregnancy she fought a lot with her boyfriend. They didn’t seem to agree on much and at one point her boyfriend started going out a lot, which bothered me a lot. I would look at my sister posted up on the couch, looking very uncomfortable and depressed, while her boyfriend went out to the bar or to play pool. I remember thinking what right does he have to go enjoy those events If she can’t, he should be home comforting her. As time went by I realized that he was in distress and so was she. They both weren’t ready to be parents but they had to and they made the decision to keep the baby, so they were going to be parents. My sister’s way of coping was by shutting herself off from the world. She went to work and that’s about it, she didn’t go out to eat, to the mall, stores, friend’s house, nothing. She just wanted to be home especially towards the end because being that she was about 5’3 and one hundred and ten pounds before the pregnancy and by the end she gained about seventy pounds all together which made her extremely swollen and uncomfortable. At the same time my sister’s boyfriend was going out a lot with his friends, and went to Florida for three months to work while she was pregnant. He was trying to get extra money for the baby and his family that he needed to provide for. At the age of twenty one with no college degree it was hard for him to find a long term steady job, but in time he did and that was a blessing by itself for him because he got a union job. Thus that is why during her pregnancy he went out a lot because that was his way of keeping his mind off what was about to come. They both had to grow up quick and they knew it. He was not ready so he acted up in ways that weren’t right.
The day Tyler was born he brought so much happiness to my family. He made my mother a grandmother, me an aunt, and my grandparent’s great grandparents and my sister a mother and her boyfriend a father. After Tyler was born my sister and her husband decided to get married. Her husband moved into my mother’s house, where I lived and my step father built on an extra room for the baby. After Tyler was born my sister and her husband started going out a lot. It seemed as if they were trying to erase there reality by going out and having drinks. It was a good time, they got to do what they use to do, felt like no responsibilities and they knew the baby was safe with the grandmother. In time like anything else they took advantage of the fact that my mother would watch the baby a lot. They still were not ready to be parents because if they were, they wouldn’t have needed that escape of going out and getting drunk. But they did because they had to grow up fast and they felt that they missed out on things so by going out they were trying to relive what they have missed in the past year. On top of that they were still fighting like cats and dogs. Don’t get my wrong they had there good times together but most times were not so good. As a baby Tyler heard a good amount of yelling which I think is very bad for a child but when there are two parents who are young and immature the arguing factor is inevitable. Thus, they tried and tried at their marriage but the fighting never ended.
Now Tyler is three years old and his parents are getting divorced. The other day my step father said something in a stern voice to my mother and Tyler ran over to him and tried to push him and said don’t yell at grandma, which he wasn’t but Tyler thought so. Tyler has heard his father yell at his mother a lot throughout his life especially now because of the divorce and he has become angry when he hears anyone raise there voice. He is an innocent child who was not asked to be born but he was. Parents have a huge influence on their children. And because he has heard yelling and arguing a lot he becomes angry when he hears it and lashes out. Unfortunately when parents are not ready to have children or are immature, too young, not ready, whatever the reason may be they do not only affect themselves but rather the innocent children. To this day I feel sorry that he is going to grow up in a divorced family because I come from a divorced family and I wish I didn’t. When I watch Tyler interact with his parents I see the affect that the divorce is having on him. Although he is not old enough to understand completely he senses something and I can tell he is being affected emotionally. Whether he lashes out when he hears yelling, or bites his nails when his father comes round he is affected by this divorce and in the end he truly is a victim of two parents who were not ready to have a child.

Focus for essay three

I'm not really sure as to what my focus is going to be but i am going to write about my nephew, Tyler. I would like you use different stories i have of him and with that develop a focus. He is three years old and has brought so much joy to my family. I might focus on the impact that he had on his two parents when he was born and the impact that he has now as a three old child. Each descritpion (story) that i write will all tie into my main focus, which is undecided. I need to think and brainstorm more but i know i want to write about tyler i just need to think of a focus. For feedback i would like to know if this is a good idea and if im on the right track.

Final Draft

When I was six years old my parents filed for divorce. I did not realize the effects that divorce would have on me throughout the different ages of my life as I do now. It was a beautiful summer day I still remember the sun shining and it just felt and seemed like a happy day. My parents told my sister and I that they were going to take us to Sabella Park, our local park right near our old condo in North Brunswick. They told us that they had to talk to us about something. I remember feeling excited my parents never made me feel like such an “adult” at the age of six as they did that day. I remember feeling so curious, what do they have to tell us? How come there making it so special for us? What could it possibly be, is it good or bad? I didn’t know but I couldn’t wait to find out.
They sat us down at the bleachers and told us that mommy and daddy weren’t going to live together anymore that daddy was going to live at grandma’s house for now on and we would stay with mommy at the condo. Immediately after they told us I said, “Okay let’s go play”, it seemed as if it did not bother me one bit. I remember feeling happy, which is strange to feel when your parents tell you there getting divorced. Although I guess I didn’t know what it truly meant to get divorced. I remember thinking okay that’s great it’s just going to be my mom, sister, and me. Hence, I loved to be just with my mom so I thought this was going to be great. Daddy would be living at my grandmas and I loved going to my grandmas so now it will be like having two houses.
My dad was eager to start up a new life, but I didn’t know that then, I’m telling you this now. He introduced me to his new girlfriend, Karen, about three weeks after my parents told me they were getting divorced. She was really nice and outgoing and the first time I met her she brought me white sunglasses, of course I liked her. Don’t we all know the saying “it so easy to buy a child’s love.” But of course I didn’t think that at the time. I thought daddy has a new girlfriend, she’s nice and bought me a present, I like her! It never came to my mind what about my mother, how is she feeling, didn’t daddy move on kind of fast, within weeks a new relationship? None of those thoughts ever entered my mind because I was a six year old child, at that age our minds don’t think that intensely. I also never asked my mother what was the reason her and my father got divorced because it did not matter to me at that time in my life. Therefore I went on and accepted this new woman that my dad brought into my life. A year later he married her and a year after that she was pregnant. My dad and Karen had my twin sisters, who I was thrilled about. I couldn’t wait to be an older sister.
Later on that year I seemed to development a feeling of abandonment. I didn’t know at the time but as I got older I realized why I acted in such ways. My mom would leave to go to the store or just to run errands and when she was gone I would sit in my room and worry about anything and everything. Is she ever going to come home? What if she never comes back? Is she safe, what if she got into a car accident? What if she got kidnapped? I would sit there and think about every possible negative thing that could happen to my mother, because I was so worried about her leaving my side and never coming back. Later on my mother told me that she talked to the psychiatrist and they explained what the reason was. They said I was so nervous about my mom abandoning me like my dad did. One minute my dad was living with us and everything was fine and the next his bags were packed and he was gone. Hence, the reason I worried that my mother would ever do the same.
To be honest I guess I didn’t want any adult figure leaving my side. I still remember sitting in my second grade class, which brings me to about seven and my teacher told the class , “ I’m going to run down the hall for a second, everyone stay in their seats , ill be right back”. Of course like any second grade class as soon as the teacher left the room, it filled with laughter, jokes and loud voices. Everyone in the class was thrilled that the teacher left us, everyone but me. I remember watching the teacher walk out the door and my body filled with a warm nervous sensation. I didn’t want her to leave and I didn’t trust being in the class with all those children and no teacher. I stared for a couple seconds until I could no longer see because my eyes were slowly filling up with tears. I was going to panic and I felt it. I remember thinking why did she leave us what if she doesn’t come back; we need the teacher in this classroom, were just children we can’t be here on our own. Slowly as the tears came the other students came around my desk simultaneously. What’s the matter Jaime, why are you crying? I remember saying, “I just want the teacher back in the room, where is she?” The teacher came walking back in the room a minute or two later, but it felt like hours to me. Immediately she walked over to me and had a look of sympathy all over her face. She whispered, “What’s the matter Jaime”. I remember telling her, “I got scared that you left and I thought you weren’t going to come back”. She assured me that she would never do that and she really had to use the bathroom, it was an emergency and she couldn’t hold it. Then she promised me she would never do that again and if ever she needed to leave she would get another teacher to wait in the room till she came back. I smiled and what I can guess is I was okay the rest of the day. Consequently I realized on the surface the divorce didn’t bother me but on an emotional level it affected me a lot as a child
It was only a matter of time till I became old enough to have that certain question pop in my head, “why did my parents get divorced?” At the age of twelve I decided to ask my mother what happened. I wasn’t prepared for the story I was told and it was probably the last thing I wanted to hear, but I’m glad now that I was told the truth. My father was a drug dealer he was selling cocaine and marijuana and not only that, he was getting high himself. Coincidently my mother’s father, my pop-pop Jack’s was a New Brunswick cop. My father was being watched for months until the night they raided the condo. I was only six, I remember walking out and seeing policemen in my living room I was told to go back in my room. My pop-pop Jacks partner was investigating my father but my pop-pop never put two and two together. They were watching a guy named “Al” and that was it. He didn’t realize it was my dad till that night that they called him and said, “Jack I’m at your daughter’s house and your grandkids are here, your daughters at work.” This is when my grandfather shockingly realized that the guy Al they were following and building a case on was his daughter’s husband.
They called my mother she had to leave work and sign a paper that agreed she had no idea about my father’s drugs or dealing. Otherwise my sister and I would have been taken away. My father did what I thought was the right thing. He went to rehab and my mother stuck by his side throughout that period. Eventually he got out and that is what caused the divorce. My father no longer could be high on drugs so he needed some other excitement in his life. So he decided to have an affair with, Karen, my step mom. I couldn’t believe what was being told to me. Karen, who I’ve known now for six years, is the lady my father cheated on my mother with. It was a lot to entail at the age of twelve from knowing nothing to everything. Although I never blamed my step mother because I figured she didn’t know and my dad probably didn’t tell her the whole truth anyway. I then despised my father as I do now. My mom didn’t want us to hate him, she would say he’s your dad and he does love you, you just have to accept him for the way he is and my mom would never say anything bad about him. Yet I couldn’t stop thinking, how could he cheat on my mother, especially after she stuck by his side through everything? She forced herself to forgive him and love him again for her children so they wouldn’t grow up in a divorced family. Yet what does he do as soon as he gets out, has an affair with the lady I acceptingly took into my life at age six. I despised him for awhile and just couldn’t really understand how anyone could ever be so cold and heartless; especially to the person I think the world of, my mother. I never understood it, because I would never have the heart to do that especially when there’s children involved.
At the age of twelve I also wonder how he was able to leave a family so suddenly just to start up a new one. Don’t get me wrong my sister and I were always welcomed at my dads’ house and went there almost every other weekend to see my dad, step mom and my sisters. Yet it still was missing two things, and that was MY mother and my father because I never got close to him and I never wanted too. I didn’t like the person he was and I especially didn’t like what he did. Thus, I never knew what divorce was at the age six, surprisingly it brought joy to my face the first time I heard it. Although time has passed and now when I think of divorce I have a completely different feeling. I feel that when two parents get divorced not only do they suffer, but the innocent children suffer as well.
As an adult I now realize that the divorce causes a lot of mixed feelings and emotions through all three ages. At the age of six the divorce did not bother me on the surface but it took a toll on me emotionally. At the age of twelve I despised my father and could not believe or accept what my father did to me mother. Now that I am older I still don’t agree with what my father did but in some way I do not feel how I did when I was twelve . I despise him and think it was wrong but I realized after he left my step mom and other sisters that maybe he doesn’t know how to be a father and he does the best he can. I still blame him one hundred and ten percent for the divorce and I don’t think anything good really comes out of it, except in this case, my mother divorcing that asshole because he never deserved her from day one. Thus I can say that in my divorced family as much as I would have liked to see my parents together, I am happy that my mother made the right choice and left him my father because she became my mother, father and best friend and that was better then anything my father could have given me as a person, and now that I am older, I know that.