Reflection on ENG 3017

What did you learn in this course? I learned the real definition of creative non fiction. As well as different styles of writing and prompts.
About the form of CNF? Segmented form
What did you learn about how to write CNF? Tell the truth to your best ability and do not make up anything!
About where to publish/find publishing venues for your creative writing? There are many places on the internet to find venues for the writing that you like.
Did you change anything /try anything different in your writing process? Please describe.I tried to be more descriptive and add a lot more images and concentrate on one focus
Which class assignments/class experiences helped you learn whatever you learned? The readings in the book, assignments for the two essays and writing prompts in class.
What do you wish the course spent more time on?What do you wish we'd spent less time on? We spent the right amount of time on everything!
Right pace/schedule? Yes
Coherence of material? Perfect
Workload => Too much, too little, just right? What would you change? It was just right, no changes for the course!
Cover material appropriate to course goals? Yes
Enough feedback for grades? Definitely!!! I always received a response with tons of feedback which helped me out a lot with revising my essay
Which form of feedback was most helpful? The feedback for my essay on divorce and on my car had excellent feedback which helped me to revise them and choose them for my final essay!
Which did you enjoy most? I enjoyed our writing prompts and discussions in class
Any which you felt was unproductive?> Not at all , everything we did in this course taught me something to add or take away from my writing to help improve it.
What would you do more of? Nothing
What would you do less of? Blogging
Did you feel the grading system was fair? Yes
Did the grades/grading system contribute to learning?Yes

I thought this course was taught very well and i was engaged the entire time. I enjoyed the writing prompts and discussions, the pace was just right and our prompts for our essays were enjoyable to write. I never felt like i was overloaded or not doing enough work. I really enjoyed this course!

Final Draft

I bought it from Locandro Motors, it is a 2000 red Chevrolet Cavalier, and I was so excited! Like everyone the day u buy your first car is one of the greatest feelings you encounter throughout our life. I remember searching for cars all day long and I finally settled on a white cavalier but right before I settled for that, which I didn’t really like I stopped at one more place. That is where I spotted my red lady bug, but there was one problem, this car was about a thousand dollars over what I had to spend. Thus I told the car salesman that I was deciding between this one and a white one down the street at another lot, and the white car was a thousand dollars cheaper. Within seconds he said I’ll drop the price and you can have it, I was thrilled. I also felt in high spirits because I was only seventeen and I bargained with the car salesman into giving it to me for a thousand dollars cheaper. That was done with a little manipulation when I told him I would just have to buy the one at the other lot and sure enough he caved in like I planned he would, so I felt I got a great deal, and believe me I did. This car is a trooper because after all I still am driving it. The experiences you encounter with your car correlates to the identity of owning a car and experiences and situations you encounter with your car.
The next morning I was anxious to clean the entire thing, inside and out. Considering it was a used car and I am a little obsessive about cleanliness I wanted to really give my new car a good cleaning. I brought the car to the car wash and I took wipes and wiped down the dashboard, seats, radio, basically everything inside the car. I also added new mats, a new radio, air fresheners, and little decorations to personalize my car. The inside of the car was in great condition, but I was surprised and annoyed when I found an old French fry in the middle counsel. I remember the guy at the auto shop told me a lady owned the car before I bought it. So in my head when I found the fry I still remember thinking, “what a pig she was”, how could she do that, it’s disgusting, when really I was just disgusted that I had to clean it up. After I cleaned the inside I brought it through the car wash so the outside would get cleaned too. I felt much better and now I was even more excited because don’t we all love our things when there all cleaned up.
About a month after I had my license my friends and I drove to jersey garden mall. We were on the turnpike and my one friend yelled GO that’s the exit and I quit switched lanes, and yes a car hit me right in the rear. Luckily the other driver and I were on the same page, nothing was done to either one of our cars really, maybe a small scratch so we said goodbye, and went on our jolly way. I was not calling the police a month after I got my license especially because I didn’t know whose fault it was and I kind of thought it was mine., and if it was my insurance would have skyrocketed and as for him I never knew his story but I’m guessing he didn’t want the cops involved for his own reasons. Although this is where I experienced what a back seat driver was and how dangerous it can be to listen to them. I know now that I shouldn’t have listened to her but then I was inexperienced so I tried to make the turn causing my first minor accident.
Another lucky incident was a block away from my house. Yes its true in the blink of an eye, right around the block from your house, it happens. I stopped at a stop sign and there was a lady right in front of me and I looked down for a second and went to go, thinking she had already went and a very little bump it was. Although when she got out of the car I did as well, and I saw she had two kids in her car and a baby. I was petrified especially when I heard the baby crying. I remember praying please don’t let there be something wrong, I hope just the little bump scared him/her or the person in the car yelled when they got hit and made that baby cry , please don’t let there be anything wrong with the baby and there wasn’t. Once again there was nothing on her car so she said what is the point should we call the cops and I said nope, there’s no damage and the baby’s okay I’m going to be on my way. That I knew would have totally been my fault, I hit her from the back but since there was no damage I was clear. I experienced the true saying of do not take your eyes off the road for even a second.
A couple years went by and the lady bug and I were extra careful. That is for only a time of course because don’t we all have accidents us more then others I thought, but she is a trooper. Well it was a Sunday afternoon and it was cold and snowy so my friends and I decided to go the bar and watch football. On the way home I was driving and again right around the block from my house, I stepped on my brakes to stop and they locked and the lady buy slid into a curb. Boy did I not know that this was going to take a little bit of a toll on her. As I drove home my car was shaking like never before and the next day, Monday, I had class. That morning I drove to school and it was the most aggravating ride of my life. It takes me about twenty five minutes to get to school but not on this day. When I hit the curb I messed up my alignment on my car, so since it was off it shook uncontrollably the entire time. I can describe that holding my wheel was like holding a jackhammer, so my hands were killing me by the end of the ride. And on top of that I could not go over 45 mph so I drove all the way in the left lane hazards on all the way to school. It normally takes me about twenty minutes to get to school; this time was double if not longer. I laugh about it now but at the time I was not so happy. I made sure that my step father fixed the car that day because I could not take another trip like that; I suffered the one day that was it. With this accident I learned something knew as well, which was to be extra careful when it is snowing and don’t drive as you normally would.
I can conclude that this car got beat up but it is still going. It never gave me one problem mechanically and we always made out in our minor incidents. And even after this last story we are still okay. I was driving to my first day of sophomore field in a school about twenty minutes from my house. I was about to turn onto the road where the school is located and as I went to make a left hand turn, a guy smacked right into the passenger side of my car. My body flew up a little, I felt my rear lift off the seat, my head hit my side panel and my leg hit the side of my door. The guy was going pretty fast because he hit my car so hard that he forced me to make my turn, my car almost doing a three sixty. When the car finally stopped which seemed like forever, I was in shock. The feeling was traumatizing for me and for the lady bug. I pulled into the gas station right next to me and I got out of my car, honestly I wanted to cry. My entire passenger side was pushed in and the car that hit me had a scratch of red paint on the front bumper. Technically I believe it was NOT my fault, he hit me I was already making my turn. But the laws of New Jersey speak for this, he had the right away and I was turning so I am at fault.
Unfortunately my insurance for my car only has liability and does not cover collision. The man, the owner of the gas station who saw the whole thing, and I agreed there was no reason for a police report because he had no damage and it was my fault. I could not afford another car and it would cost about two thousand dollars to fix my car. Logically I thought I had this car for about five years, I brought it for four thousand, it is not worth it to get it fixed, and that would be a waste of money because the car is not even worth that now. Thus I said I will b graduating in about a year and then I can buy myself a car once I’m done with school and can work full time, but for the time being I am going to drive this. It still runs great and has no problems really. I don’t use or need that door to open I’m the driver .The only problem is my passengers because if they want to come in they must use my door and climb over into the seat. The door has not opened since the accident and is stuck and I don’t want to open it because I’m afraid it wont shut and then ill really be screwed. In particular this experience showed me that sometimes you have to suck things up and just deal with it, accept the things you can’t change.
I realized the car is just as perfect as it was when I brought it. I don’t have a problem getting in; I have a door that opens. Why should I stress the fact about my passenger side door, I don’t really need it, it still does the job of getting me where I need to go. Yes my friends rarely have me drive because boy is it an annoyance for them having to climb in and out , but its an annoyance for me as well because when I pick them up I have to get out let them in and when I drop them off I have to get out to let them out. Yet it’s still safe and the seatbelt works, the door is just handicapped. And anyway who ever heard of buying a car for their passengers! My red lady bug has been through it all with me and has never let me down, she is a real trooper. And to be honest when the time does come I don’t think any brand new car could ever replace the experiences we’ve encountered together. Car ownership is a big part of our lives; we spend a lot of time in our cars and depend on them tremendously to go about our daily lives.

Publication Presentation

Fourth Genre Publication
Fourth Genre is a literary journal that explores the boundaries of contemporary creative literary nonfiction. This publication welcomes numerous works, ranging from personal essays including nature, environmental, and travel essays as well as memoirs to literary journalism and personal criticism. The editors invite works that are lyrical, self-interrogative, meditative, and reflective, as well as expository, analytical, exploratory, or whimsical (unusual). They encourage submissions across the entire spectrum of the fourth genre. The journal encourages a writer-to reader conversation, one that explores the markers and boundaries of literary creative nonfiction. Fourth Genre also features interviews with famous nonfiction writers, tutorial discussions of topical genre issues, mini-essays by selected photographers and visual artists, letters from readers, reviews and capsule summaries of current books.
Two issues are published annually by Michigan State University Press, one in the spring and one in the fall. General submissions are accepted between August 15 and November 30 only. It costs twenty six dollars for the year if you’re a student. For the manuscript requirements you must see the abridged style guide format, and the essay must be typed, double-spaced, on one side of 8.5" x 11" paper. You must include a cover letter (one page limit): name, address, phone number, email address, title of piece, and approximate word count .Do not send disks or electronics files. Multiple submissions not accepted from individual authors (non-contest submissions only). Simultaneous submissions require immediate notification to Fourth Genre if accepted elsewhere. The word limit is six thousand words. If the submissions do not meet the requirements listed above the piece will be recycled and not read
I read three sample essays, which included, Mammalian by Nedra Rogers, I’m just getting to the disturbing part by, Steven Church, and A History with Trees by, Marie Ostarello. The essays for this publication were very descriptive and detailed. Each of the three essays held so much detail I felt like I was actually there in their stories. Also they were written in segmented form, where each writer spoke of the past, future, and present discussing different aspects about their main focus. Coincidentally, all three stories that I read reflected back to nature in some aspect. Each essay was ten pages at minimum.

Revision

Reimagine your piece -

I would like to add more images and statements into my essay. I also would like to revise some of the stories a little bit because I don't think I'm clear on the purpose of each story. Each story represents a certain aspect of owning a car. The part where i describe cleaning my car, is because it was a used a car and now that I am the new owner i wanted to clean the car to my liking ( aspect of buying a used car). I also would like to talk about the things i added that the lady didn't have before me, new mats, a new radio, air fresheners etc to now personalize my car. Another story was when my friends and I drove to the mall, this story had a lot to do with backseat drivers. I know now that i shouldn't have listened to her but then i was inexperienced so i tried to make the turn and I caused a very minor accident. The third story is where i talk about taking my eyes off the road for a second and here i would like to explain more how i assumed she was going to go and that was not the case. I would like to go into more detail about the risk of taking your eyes off the road and how that accident could have been a lot more severe. I would like to add another story about the couple burn holes i have on the interior roof of my car. This story will develop another aspect to my main focus which is car identity. I could have avoided this by not allowing anyone to smoke in my car but because I did and everyone is subject to imperfection, a few friends hit their cigarette and made a burn hole, including myself. This brings up the point of subjecting your car to damage because it is an object and trusting others. Another story is the risk of driving when the road conditions are bad and again i took that risk and the next day i paid for it. In this story i think i added enough detail when i describe the condition of my car the next day when i drove it to school. My last story is about the accident that caused a lot of damage to my car. In this specific story i would like to add a lot more images. I faintly talk about the actual accident and here I would like to describe the actual accident and what happened to me and my car when i got hit. My body lifted up and my leg hit the side of my car and my head hit the upper paneling and i felt my whole body get jumbled and my car got hit so hard it pushed my car to make the turn by the force of the other car. Thus for the last story I am going to add more images to make the meaning have more of a purpose. I am going to add more images and description to my stories to devlop a better focus for my paper.

Revise essay four

I am going to revise essay four about my car. My focus is going to be cars as part of our indentity ( the ownership of our car) and how we rely on our cars for just about everything, going to work, school, visiting family, going to stores, etc. In my essay i give examples of the accidents i have experienced through driving my car. Also how cars are material objects and how sometimes they do result in getting damaged, and when the damage is severe enough we feel hopless without our cars because we can no longer drive to the places we need to attend to in our everyday lives.But that is part of owning a car and knowing eventually our cars will end up in the trash compactor because they do not last forever, sadly so. I am going to use each story to devlop a different point of car ownership and identity.

draft for essay four

I bought it from Locandro Motors, it is a 2000 red Chevrolet Cavalier, and I was so excited! Like everyone the day u buy your first car is one of the greatest feelings you encounter throughout our life. I remember searching for cars all day long and I finally settled on a white cavalier but right before I settled for that, which I didn’t really like I stopped at one more place. That is where I spotted my red lady bug, but there was one problem, this car was about a thousand dollars over what I had to spend. Thus I told the car salesman that I was deciding between this one and a white cavalier down the street at another lot, and the white car was a thousand dollars cheaper. Within seconds he said I’ll drop the price and you can have it, I was thrilled. I also felt in high spirits because I was only seventeen and I bargained with the car salesman into giving it to me for a thousand dollars cheaper. That was done with a little manipulation when I told him I would just have to buy the one at the other lot and sure enough he caved in like I planned he would, so I felt I got a great deal, and believe me I did. This car is a trooper because after all I still am driving it.
The next morning I was anxious to clean the entire thing, inside and out. Considering it was a used car and I am a little obsessive about cleanliness I wanted to really give my new car a good cleaning. I brought the car to the car wash and I took wipes and wiped down the dashboard, seats, radio, basically everything inside the car. The inside of the car was in great condition, but I was surprised and annoyed when I found an old French fry in the middle counsel. I remember the guy at the auto shop told me a lady owned the car before I bought it. So in my head when I found the fry I still remember thinking, “what a pig she was”, how could she do that, it’s disgusting, when really I was just disgusted that I had to clean it up. After I cleaned the inside I brought it through the car wash so the outside would get cleaned too and while it was going through I brought a new air freshener, spray for the car, and mats. I felt much better and now I was even more excited because don’t we all love our things when there all cleaned up.
About a month after I had my license my friends and I drove to jersey garden mall. We were on the turnpike and my one friend yelled GO that’s the exit and I quit switched lanes, and yes a car hit me right in the rear. Luckily the other driver and me were on the same page, nothing was done to either one of our cars really, maybe a small scratch so we said goodbye, and went on our jolly way. I was not calling the police a month after my license especially because I didn’t know whose fault it was and I kind of thought it was mine., and if it was my insurance would have skyrocketed and him I never knew his story but I’m guessing he didn’t want the cops involved for his own reasons.
Another lucky incident was a block away from my house. Yes its true in the blink of an eye, right around the block from your house, it happens. Well I stopped at a stop sign and there was a lady right in front of me and I looked down for a second and went to go, thinking she had already went and a very little bump it was. Although when she got out of the car I did as well, and I saw she had two kids in her car and a baby. I was petrified especially when I heard the baby crying. I remember praying please don’t let there be something wrong, I hope the little bump scared the baby or the person in the car yelled when they got hit and made that baby cry , please don’t let there be anything wrong with the baby and there wasn’t. Once again there was nothing on her car so she said what is the point should we call the cops and I said nope, there’s no damage and the baby’s okay I’m going to be on my way. That I knew would have totally been my fault, I hit her from the back but since there was no damage I was clear.
A couple years went by and the lady bug and I were extra careful. That is for only a time of course because don’t we all have accidents us more then others I thought, but she is a trooper. Well it was a Sunday afternoon and it was cold and snowy so my friends and I decided to go the bar and watch football. On the way home I was driving and again right around the block from my house, I stepped on my brakes to stop and they locked and the lady buy slid into a curb. Boy did I not know that this was going to take a little bit of a toll on her. As I drove home my car was shaking like never before and the next day, Monday, I had class. That morning I drove to school and it was the most aggravating ride of my life. It takes me about twenty five minutes to get to school but not on this day. When I hit the curb I messed up my alignment on my car, so since it was off it shook uncontrollably the entire time. I can describe that holding my wheel was like holding a jackhammer, so my hands were killing me by the end of the ride. And on top of that I could not go over 45 mph so I was all the way in the left lane hazards on all the way to school. I laugh about it now but at the time I was not so happy. I made sure that my step father fixed the car that day because I could not take another trip like that, I suffered the one day, that was it.
I can conclude that this car got beat up but it is still going. It never gave me one problem mechanically and we always made out in our minor incidents. And even after this last story we are still okay. I was driving to my first day of sophomore field in a school. I went to make a left hand turn, my arrow was green and I was halfway through when a guy smacked right into the passenger side of my car. My car did a three sixty almost and I got a little jumbled around. The feeling was traumatizing for me and for the lady bug. I pulled into the gas station right next to me and I got out of my car, honestly I wanted to cry. My entire passenger side was pushed in and the car that hit me had a scratch of red paint on the front bumper. Technically I believe it was NOT my fault, he hit me I was already making my turn. But the laws of New Jersey speak for this, he had the right away and I was turning so I am at fault. Unfortunately my insurance for my car only has liability and does not cover collision. The man, the owner of the gas station who saw the whole thing, and I agreed there was no reason for a police report because he had no damage and it was my fault. I could not afford another car and it would cost about two thousand dollars to fix my car. Logically I thought I had this car for about five years, I brought it for four thousand, it is not worth it to get it fixed, and that would be a waste of money because the car is not even worth that now. Thus I said I will b graduating in about a year and then I can buy myself a car once I’m done with school and can work full time, but for the time being I am going to drive this. It still runs great and has no problems really. I don’t use or need that door to open I’m the driver .The only problem is my passengers because if they want to come in they must use my door and climb over into the seat. The door has not opened since the accident and is stuck and I don’t want to open it because I’m afraid it wont shut and then ill really be screwed.
I realized the car is just as perfect as it was when I brought it. I don’t have a problem getting in; I have a door that opens. So why stress the fact about my passenger side door, some times you have to suck things up and just deal with it. Yes my friends rarely have me drive because boy is it an annoyance for them having to climb in and out , but its an annoyance for me as well because when I pick them up I have to get out let them in and when I drop them off I have to get out to let them out. Yet it’s still safe and the seatbelt works, the door is just handicapped. And anyway who ever heard of buying a car for their passengers! My red lady bug has been through it all with me and has never let me down, she is a real trooper. And to be honest when the time does come I don’t think any brand new car could ever replace her.

Ideas for draft four

For my fourth draft I am going to write about my car. I am going to start by writing about the first year of having my car. I also want to tell a story of the lady who had it before me. Then I am going to talk about the little fender benders I got into when I first got my license. The three burn holes on the roof of my car from a lit cigarette hitting the interior of the roof which one is from me and the rest my friends all of them by accident of course. I am going to go into my college years of having the car and the time I hit a curb and it messed up my alignment on my car when it was snowing and my brakes locked and my car skidded.The next day I had to drive to Kean on the parkway going forty miles an hour because the whole thing was shaking. Then I will talk about the accident I got into last year which pushed in my passenger side door and it can no longer open it. Thus the object is my car and my focus is all the things that happened to the car the past five years I had because it’s been a long and bumpy road for us both.

description of a place

Hadleigh Lane, North Brunswick is where I lived up until I was about six. When I go there I see the complex I lived in. There are condos and town houses that surround my condo. In between each condo there is a field which is covered in bright green grass, it almost looks fake. This is where we would play kickball, hiding seek, or tag. I had a balcony because we were the corner condo on the first floor. There were three floors to my building. There is a picture of me when I was about six I went to the third floor and stood on the pillar of our condo, I was a daring child and loved climbing. On the other side of the grass there was a beautiful lake. This too was surrounded by grass and had a fountain in the middle. There were several geese and geese droppings near this lake. I always watched where i walked because i refused to get that on the bottom of my sneakers. I still remember the square green cemented object. I was never really sure of its purpose but it was about ten feet from the lake. And on this thing I use to do cartwheels and round offs off it because it had about a five foot drop on the other side. If you walked up from my condo there was a main street which had a big sidewalk that went down the road and took you too each complex of condos, we would walk or roller blade along that almost everyday. There was an awning on the sidewalk and we would past it everyday and everyday I would stop because there were always neat rocks underneath it and I would always choose my favorite one. Every time I drive past the condo I get a feeling of comfort and I remember what it feels like to be a child because all my memories there are from my childhood.

draft three

When I hear the name Tyler, I automatically think of my three year old nephew, Tyler John. My sister found out she was pregnant when she was twenty years old and her boyfriend, the baby’s father was twenty one. After repeating those ages I’m sure to add that having a baby was not planned for them at all, they were too young and definitely not ready to be parents. I can still remember the day my sister found out she was pregnant. We were all sitting in my back room, my sister, her friend, my friend, my mother and I. My sister was late for her period and on that day she went upstairs to take the pregnancy test and about five minutes later I heard her call for her friend, then me, and after my mother. I ran up the stairs and she said it came out positive. I remember feeling so scared for her, my mother is going to kill her I thought. Seconds later my mother came up the stairs and my sister told her. By surprise my mother smiled and said okay you’re keeping it right, my sister agreed and that is how Tyler John became my nephew.
During my sisters pregnancy she fought a lot with her boyfriend. They didn’t seem to agree on much and at one point her boyfriend started going out a lot, which bothered me a lot. I would look at my sister posted up on the couch, looking very uncomfortable and depressed, while her boyfriend went out to the bar or to play pool. I remember thinking what right does he have to go enjoy those events If she can’t, he should be home comforting her. As time went by I realized that he was in distress and so was she. They both weren’t ready to be parents but they had to and they made the decision to keep the baby, so they were going to be parents. My sister’s way of coping was by shutting herself off from the world. She went to work and that’s about it, she didn’t go out to eat, to the mall, stores, friend’s house, nothing. She just wanted to be home especially towards the end because being that she was about 5’3 and one hundred and ten pounds before the pregnancy and by the end she gained about seventy pounds all together which made her extremely swollen and uncomfortable. At the same time my sister’s boyfriend was going out a lot with his friends, and went to Florida for three months to work while she was pregnant. He was trying to get extra money for the baby and his family that he needed to provide for. At the age of twenty one with no college degree it was hard for him to find a long term steady job, but in time he did and that was a blessing by itself for him because he got a union job. Thus that is why during her pregnancy he went out a lot because that was his way of keeping his mind off what was about to come. They both had to grow up quick and they knew it. He was not ready so he acted up in ways that weren’t right.
The day Tyler was born he brought so much happiness to my family. He made my mother a grandmother, me an aunt, and my grandparent’s great grandparents and my sister a mother and her boyfriend a father. After Tyler was born my sister and her husband decided to get married. Her husband moved into my mother’s house, where I lived and my step father built on an extra room for the baby. After Tyler was born my sister and her husband started going out a lot. It seemed as if they were trying to erase there reality by going out and having drinks. It was a good time, they got to do what they use to do, felt like no responsibilities and they knew the baby was safe with the grandmother. In time like anything else they took advantage of the fact that my mother would watch the baby a lot. They still were not ready to be parents because if they were, they wouldn’t have needed that escape of going out and getting drunk. But they did because they had to grow up fast and they felt that they missed out on things so by going out they were trying to relive what they have missed in the past year. On top of that they were still fighting like cats and dogs. Don’t get my wrong they had there good times together but most times were not so good. As a baby Tyler heard a good amount of yelling which I think is very bad for a child but when there are two parents who are young and immature the arguing factor is inevitable. Thus, they tried and tried at their marriage but the fighting never ended.
Now Tyler is three years old and his parents are getting divorced. The other day my step father said something in a stern voice to my mother and Tyler ran over to him and tried to push him and said don’t yell at grandma, which he wasn’t but Tyler thought so. Tyler has heard his father yell at his mother a lot throughout his life especially now because of the divorce and he has become angry when he hears anyone raise there voice. He is an innocent child who was not asked to be born but he was. Parents have a huge influence on their children. And because he has heard yelling and arguing a lot he becomes angry when he hears it and lashes out. Unfortunately when parents are not ready to have children or are immature, too young, not ready, whatever the reason may be they do not only affect themselves but rather the innocent children. To this day I feel sorry that he is going to grow up in a divorced family because I come from a divorced family and I wish I didn’t. When I watch Tyler interact with his parents I see the affect that the divorce is having on him. Although he is not old enough to understand completely he senses something and I can tell he is being affected emotionally. Whether he lashes out when he hears yelling, or bites his nails when his father comes round he is affected by this divorce and in the end he truly is a victim of two parents who were not ready to have a child.

Focus for essay three

I'm not really sure as to what my focus is going to be but i am going to write about my nephew, Tyler. I would like you use different stories i have of him and with that develop a focus. He is three years old and has brought so much joy to my family. I might focus on the impact that he had on his two parents when he was born and the impact that he has now as a three old child. Each descritpion (story) that i write will all tie into my main focus, which is undecided. I need to think and brainstorm more but i know i want to write about tyler i just need to think of a focus. For feedback i would like to know if this is a good idea and if im on the right track.

Final Draft

When I was six years old my parents filed for divorce. I did not realize the effects that divorce would have on me throughout the different ages of my life as I do now. It was a beautiful summer day I still remember the sun shining and it just felt and seemed like a happy day. My parents told my sister and I that they were going to take us to Sabella Park, our local park right near our old condo in North Brunswick. They told us that they had to talk to us about something. I remember feeling excited my parents never made me feel like such an “adult” at the age of six as they did that day. I remember feeling so curious, what do they have to tell us? How come there making it so special for us? What could it possibly be, is it good or bad? I didn’t know but I couldn’t wait to find out.
They sat us down at the bleachers and told us that mommy and daddy weren’t going to live together anymore that daddy was going to live at grandma’s house for now on and we would stay with mommy at the condo. Immediately after they told us I said, “Okay let’s go play”, it seemed as if it did not bother me one bit. I remember feeling happy, which is strange to feel when your parents tell you there getting divorced. Although I guess I didn’t know what it truly meant to get divorced. I remember thinking okay that’s great it’s just going to be my mom, sister, and me. Hence, I loved to be just with my mom so I thought this was going to be great. Daddy would be living at my grandmas and I loved going to my grandmas so now it will be like having two houses.
My dad was eager to start up a new life, but I didn’t know that then, I’m telling you this now. He introduced me to his new girlfriend, Karen, about three weeks after my parents told me they were getting divorced. She was really nice and outgoing and the first time I met her she brought me white sunglasses, of course I liked her. Don’t we all know the saying “it so easy to buy a child’s love.” But of course I didn’t think that at the time. I thought daddy has a new girlfriend, she’s nice and bought me a present, I like her! It never came to my mind what about my mother, how is she feeling, didn’t daddy move on kind of fast, within weeks a new relationship? None of those thoughts ever entered my mind because I was a six year old child, at that age our minds don’t think that intensely. I also never asked my mother what was the reason her and my father got divorced because it did not matter to me at that time in my life. Therefore I went on and accepted this new woman that my dad brought into my life. A year later he married her and a year after that she was pregnant. My dad and Karen had my twin sisters, who I was thrilled about. I couldn’t wait to be an older sister.
Later on that year I seemed to development a feeling of abandonment. I didn’t know at the time but as I got older I realized why I acted in such ways. My mom would leave to go to the store or just to run errands and when she was gone I would sit in my room and worry about anything and everything. Is she ever going to come home? What if she never comes back? Is she safe, what if she got into a car accident? What if she got kidnapped? I would sit there and think about every possible negative thing that could happen to my mother, because I was so worried about her leaving my side and never coming back. Later on my mother told me that she talked to the psychiatrist and they explained what the reason was. They said I was so nervous about my mom abandoning me like my dad did. One minute my dad was living with us and everything was fine and the next his bags were packed and he was gone. Hence, the reason I worried that my mother would ever do the same.
To be honest I guess I didn’t want any adult figure leaving my side. I still remember sitting in my second grade class, which brings me to about seven and my teacher told the class , “ I’m going to run down the hall for a second, everyone stay in their seats , ill be right back”. Of course like any second grade class as soon as the teacher left the room, it filled with laughter, jokes and loud voices. Everyone in the class was thrilled that the teacher left us, everyone but me. I remember watching the teacher walk out the door and my body filled with a warm nervous sensation. I didn’t want her to leave and I didn’t trust being in the class with all those children and no teacher. I stared for a couple seconds until I could no longer see because my eyes were slowly filling up with tears. I was going to panic and I felt it. I remember thinking why did she leave us what if she doesn’t come back; we need the teacher in this classroom, were just children we can’t be here on our own. Slowly as the tears came the other students came around my desk simultaneously. What’s the matter Jaime, why are you crying? I remember saying, “I just want the teacher back in the room, where is she?” The teacher came walking back in the room a minute or two later, but it felt like hours to me. Immediately she walked over to me and had a look of sympathy all over her face. She whispered, “What’s the matter Jaime”. I remember telling her, “I got scared that you left and I thought you weren’t going to come back”. She assured me that she would never do that and she really had to use the bathroom, it was an emergency and she couldn’t hold it. Then she promised me she would never do that again and if ever she needed to leave she would get another teacher to wait in the room till she came back. I smiled and what I can guess is I was okay the rest of the day. Consequently I realized on the surface the divorce didn’t bother me but on an emotional level it affected me a lot as a child
It was only a matter of time till I became old enough to have that certain question pop in my head, “why did my parents get divorced?” At the age of twelve I decided to ask my mother what happened. I wasn’t prepared for the story I was told and it was probably the last thing I wanted to hear, but I’m glad now that I was told the truth. My father was a drug dealer he was selling cocaine and marijuana and not only that, he was getting high himself. Coincidently my mother’s father, my pop-pop Jack’s was a New Brunswick cop. My father was being watched for months until the night they raided the condo. I was only six, I remember walking out and seeing policemen in my living room I was told to go back in my room. My pop-pop Jacks partner was investigating my father but my pop-pop never put two and two together. They were watching a guy named “Al” and that was it. He didn’t realize it was my dad till that night that they called him and said, “Jack I’m at your daughter’s house and your grandkids are here, your daughters at work.” This is when my grandfather shockingly realized that the guy Al they were following and building a case on was his daughter’s husband.
They called my mother she had to leave work and sign a paper that agreed she had no idea about my father’s drugs or dealing. Otherwise my sister and I would have been taken away. My father did what I thought was the right thing. He went to rehab and my mother stuck by his side throughout that period. Eventually he got out and that is what caused the divorce. My father no longer could be high on drugs so he needed some other excitement in his life. So he decided to have an affair with, Karen, my step mom. I couldn’t believe what was being told to me. Karen, who I’ve known now for six years, is the lady my father cheated on my mother with. It was a lot to entail at the age of twelve from knowing nothing to everything. Although I never blamed my step mother because I figured she didn’t know and my dad probably didn’t tell her the whole truth anyway. I then despised my father as I do now. My mom didn’t want us to hate him, she would say he’s your dad and he does love you, you just have to accept him for the way he is and my mom would never say anything bad about him. Yet I couldn’t stop thinking, how could he cheat on my mother, especially after she stuck by his side through everything? She forced herself to forgive him and love him again for her children so they wouldn’t grow up in a divorced family. Yet what does he do as soon as he gets out, has an affair with the lady I acceptingly took into my life at age six. I despised him for awhile and just couldn’t really understand how anyone could ever be so cold and heartless; especially to the person I think the world of, my mother. I never understood it, because I would never have the heart to do that especially when there’s children involved.
At the age of twelve I also wonder how he was able to leave a family so suddenly just to start up a new one. Don’t get me wrong my sister and I were always welcomed at my dads’ house and went there almost every other weekend to see my dad, step mom and my sisters. Yet it still was missing two things, and that was MY mother and my father because I never got close to him and I never wanted too. I didn’t like the person he was and I especially didn’t like what he did. Thus, I never knew what divorce was at the age six, surprisingly it brought joy to my face the first time I heard it. Although time has passed and now when I think of divorce I have a completely different feeling. I feel that when two parents get divorced not only do they suffer, but the innocent children suffer as well.
As an adult I now realize that the divorce causes a lot of mixed feelings and emotions through all three ages. At the age of six the divorce did not bother me on the surface but it took a toll on me emotionally. At the age of twelve I despised my father and could not believe or accept what my father did to me mother. Now that I am older I still don’t agree with what my father did but in some way I do not feel how I did when I was twelve . I despise him and think it was wrong but I realized after he left my step mom and other sisters that maybe he doesn’t know how to be a father and he does the best he can. I still blame him one hundred and ten percent for the divorce and I don’t think anything good really comes out of it, except in this case, my mother divorcing that asshole because he never deserved her from day one. Thus I can say that in my divorced family as much as I would have liked to see my parents together, I am happy that my mother made the right choice and left him my father because she became my mother, father and best friend and that was better then anything my father could have given me as a person, and now that I am older, I know that.

Photograph

In this photograph there is a picture of my sister, Meagan and I she is picking me up and we have our arms around eachother. I was about five or six and she was about seven or eight. We both have on dance costumes. She has on a red one piece outfit and i have on a cheetah one piece outfit. We use to dress up and put on a dance show for my mother. I remember we use to move the table in my living room and put on one of our cds. Then we use to make up a dance and then have my mother sit down and watch it. This picture was taken in my old house in North Brunswick at our condo. I also see a wooden bench that is right behind us. I remeber this bench being in our house too. I also see about three picture frames behind us. Although there is only a picture in one of the frames and its cut off in the photo but it was a picture of my sister and i when we were three and five. We moved out of the condo when i was about eight. The outfits we were wearing are way gone, i have not actually seen them since we moved, most likely my mother gave them away to family, friends or charity because we grew out of them.

Stories of things from my past

I looked into my one closet where i put a lot of my storage. I found a stuffed animal dog, his name is floppy. I remember my mother giving him to me when i was about eight years old. We went to a toy store and i saw it and fell in love with him. I thought he was so cute and his fur was so soft, i couldn't stop rubbing him on my face.The moment i walked out of the store i slept with that dog everynight, until i felt to old to be sleeping with a stuffed animal. I even brought him on vacations with me, sleepovers, etc.

Another item that i saw is a wooden box i have. In this box i have a necklace and you can slide open the front and there is a picture of my mother. I also have a picture of my parents on their wedding day and the article that was in the newspaper that announced they were getting married. I remember keeping my money in here a lot when i was younger too. I noticed on the inside lid of the box there was some numbers, i believe i use to try and keep count of the money i got on holidays.

narrative on which essay to revise

I am going to revise my first essay about my parents divorce. I thought i wouldn't want to revise it and use it as my final draft because it's personal but i had a change in mind. I am going to revise the essay and take out the things that i feel are to personal. I choose this essay because i have more to write about and i personally like the structure of it better then my second draft. My second draft is about my expectations of highschool, which is very original. I'm sure most peoples expectations of highschool are very similiar. Thus, i would like to revise the essay which is unique. I also like my first draft because there is a couple stories within the story, which makes it intresting. As i read over my second draft to revise it i couldn't add anything to make it more intresting or appealing to the reader i felt like it was very blah. Where as my first draft i had a ton of ideas circling through my head on what to add and take out to revise the draft. I decided to revise my first draft because it has a deeper meaning to me and with that i noticed i can develop a better essay.

draft two

I can vividly remember sitting in my chair the last day of middle school thinking continuously about what to expect going into high school. I had my own expectations, which of course were influenced by others who had already experienced it. I still remember my older sister telling me how she felt going into high school. Although, my sister and I are like day and night so it wasn’t much help to me. She had that I don’t care attitude and I worried about anything and everything that could possibly happen.
When I walked in the first day of orientation, I was so overwhelmed by the size of the building. I remember thinking, “HAA and they say you learn your way around in the first week, yea right.” I was walking through the hallways envisioning myself getting lost the first day. The building seemed so big and confusing, but I did keep in mind so did middle school and that turned out fine. I knew my middle school like the back of my hand, and in time I would know my high school like that right? I guess I hoped that I would and I did. The first day of school I got slightly lost, and I did what I said I wouldn’t, I asked an upperclassmen for directions and you wouldn’t believe it, they gave me legit directions on how to get to my class. I know now that, that was a false accusation I made about the upperclassmen.
The night before the first day of high school I sat up until two in the morning. What was I possibly doing? I was thinking about everything under the sun. Questions came in and out of my head and I remember thinking why do I think so much, on top of the million questions I had about high school. Who were my teachers going to be, male female? Will they be nice, strict, mean, boring? I hope those stories about freshman Friday in the bathroom are not true. The school was enormous on orientation day, will I get lost? How will I find my class if the bell rings and I’m lost? I remember thinking I don’t want to ask another student because they will probably give the wrong directions and humor themselves that they sent me the wrong way. Will teachers get furious that a student walks in late on the first day? Am I going to have people I know in my lunch, gym? What if I have no one I know in my lunch? I remember thinking that will devastate me I have to have at least one person right? Every question that I could think of entered my mind that night before my first day of high school.
One of the things that worried me was the amount of work that would be given and the difficulty I might have completing it. I figured it would be hard completing work for six different classes each day, plus papers, exams, test, quizzes and so fourth. I remember picturing assignments piled up to the ceiling and being up until three in the morning trying to finish. I guess at that time I wasn’t ready for high school yet. Or was it that I didn’t know what to expect so it made me nervous. I remember thinking that high school is probably much harder than middle school. If I would have known then what I know now I wouldn’t of even cared because high school was the best years of my life. My expectations for high school were much higher then they needed to be. Now that I think back I didn’t devote much time to studying and I easily passed all my classes without encountering any problems.
Expectations can really put a toll on a person. I heard the teachers of my high school did not care about teaching or helping their students. I couldn’t believe I heard that I remember thinking, “well why the hell are they teachers then if they don’t want to teach or help their students”. Of course that was another high expectation. It turned out all my teachers throughout the four years of high school were very caring and helpful to me. I realized that the person that told me that was just expecting to get babied in high school. With that I made the assumption that it wasn’t that the teachers didn’t care it was that they did want to treat us like babies. They were trying to prepare us for our future. The only exception to what I said was my biology teacher. I remember sitting in my biology class and I asked my friend Dan a question, who was sitting right next to me. My teacher raised his voice and with that, he said, “Jaimesue Shut up.” I couldn’t believe the words that came out of that man’s mouth. I looked at him and I said, “Do not ever tell me to shut up, if you would like to me be quiet ask nicely, it’s very unprofessional to talk to your students like that.” The teacher had a blank stare and said nothing in return.
Before my first day my friend called me up and said, “Do you hear what they do to freshmen on Friday.” Hesitantly I answered, “No what...” She said, “I heard every time a freshman uses the bathroom on Friday they would get tormented.” For a split second I thought about that foolish rumor wondering it was true. Now that I think back what a baby I was wondering if upperclassmen would pick on me. If I would known then what I know now I would have said, “yeah let someone try to torment me and they’ll be tormented by me!” But I did not have that attitude then so I asked my older sister about the freshman Friday rumor. She laughed and said that would never happen and she never even heard of that. I remember believing her and realizing I was a little to paranoid about the whole high school thing.
I had a lot of different expectations of high school. Unfortunately mostly all of them were negative. Now I am very pleased to say it turned out to be the opposite of what I expected. I’m glad I listened to other people’s opinions about high school but now I know you can’t believe everything you hear. I know that now but at the age of thirteen I was very naive. Although I worried like crazy and couldn’t stop bombarding myself with stupid questions high school turned out great. With all those questions and answers from other people and experiencing high school, I realized sometimes you will never know what to expect until you have experienced it yourself.

ideas for my scond draft

My focus for my second draft is going to be the impact my mother had on me throughout my life. I thought i could bring up a couple stories from my child hood till now and explain within those stories why she had such an impact on me. What she did to comfort me, advice she gave me, things she warned me about, punishments and rules when i was a child, manners she enforced etc. I thought it would be intresting to also bring up that because my mother means so much to me i hate hearing about anything bad that has to do with her. Its kinda weird in the sense that when there is something wrong with her i dont want to hear about it and i tend to ignore it or dont believe it. I thought that was intresting because since i consider her my "rock" i feel as if nothing can happen to her and shes such a strong person because that is what she has shown me. Although as i got older i realized shes human just like me and maybe all that strength was there to help me when i was weak.

In my first essay i liked how descipitive i was in telling the story. I also liked how i switched from three different ages which were six, twelve, and twenty one .I structured my essay in an orderly manner which was effective in telling my story about my parents divorce. For each age i had a different outlook on divorce and then at the age of twelve i was told a story of why my parents got divorced . The opening of my essay was efffective because i explained the definition of divorce and thats what my essay was about. If i had to change anything i would have liked to not have made it so personal where i did not want to post it as a blog. Yet when i wrote it i did not realize how personal it was till i was done writing it. Thus, for the next essay i would like to write about something less personal. I think for my next essay i am going to write a story about my mother. I realized throughout almost all my journal entries my mother comes up at least once. So i figured i could write an essay about her and the impact she had on my life.

Tim O' Brien

"How to Tell a True War Story" by Tim O' Brien is a story about how to tell if someone is telling the truth in a war story. O'Brien states, " A true war story is never moral.It does not instruct, nor encourage virtue, nor suggest models of proper human behavior, nor restrain the men from doing things they have always done". I thought this line was very important to the story because it sounded truthful and that's what the title is about. He says that a true war story does not suggest models of proper human behavior. I thought that was true because i have never been to war and I'm sure a majority of readers have not been either so we would agree that there is not proper human behavior in war because there is a lot of stuff that they do that we would never do. Thus we cant even pinpoint what they do there we can only assume by what we hear about "fighting in war" or stories that friends or family have told us about their experience in war but then again, O'Brien suggests that half of what is being told isn't true so do we truly know what happens in war. I also thought the example of Lemon was very true when he speaks upon watching a guy die it is very hard because you look away and look back and then look away again and the picture gets jumbled in your mind and you miss a lot of what actually happened. O'Brien states, "...a true war story is never about war...its about love and memory.Its about sorrow.It's about sisters who never write back and people who never listen". Thus the truth in the story was about the pain Bob Kiley felt over Lemon's death and the pain he felt that Lemon's sister never wrote back.

My Personal Essay

For my personal essay i am going to focus on switching back and fourth from the present tense and the past tense. The structure of my essay will be parallelism which is alternating or interwining one contiuous strand with another. My two strands are going to be past and present. I decided to make my essay very similiar to the story,"Biography of a Dress". My essay is about my Grandfather telling me a story about my father. The story takes place when i was about five or six and has a lot to do with my parents divorce. Although at the time i did not know all the deatils i know now. This is very similiar to "Biography of a Dress"because she speaks about a time when she was about one and a half and then speaks when she is older. I am going to do something very similiar to that story. In speaking about my parents divorce when i was six and then my grandfather telling me a story when i was about twenty. And my father told me the same story about five months ago but from his point of view.

Alive and Westbury Court

Alive by, Laurie Lynn Drummond and "Westbury Court" by, Edwidge Daticat are both stories that involve personal experience about being alive. "Westbury Court" is about a fourteen year old boy who experiences a fire in his apartment building right across the hall from where he lives. In this story he explains how he watched over his siblings everyday as well as watched his favorite television show, General Hospital, everyday too. One day a fire started across the hall in his apartment building,which he did not realize till two firemen knocked on his door and evacuated him and his brothers out of the building. In this story the boy questions that he was to involved in his show that he did not hear the fire. He also questions that the fire could have happened to him and his brothers. Later on throughout the story the boy speaks about a cabdriver who lived down the hall , who was killed on his night shift and a Nigerian immigrant who was shot right in front of the building of which he lived in too. By the end of the story we realize as does the boy that he is living in a violent area and he questions that he never thought it was violent because to him that was his home. The boy questions what happened to the two children that lived across the hall and questions if they died or if they're still alive. He adds, "Or maybe i am struggling to phase them out of my memory altogether.Not just them, but the fear that their destiny could have so easily been mine and my brothers". Here we can see that the boy questions his destiny as well as his brothers and feels scared but fortunate to be alive. The structure of this story had many realistic events that happened around the boy's apartment which made the boy continue to question his destiny about being alive.Therefore all the dramatic events he saw or heard about put an impact on the way the boy thought about life.
Alive , is a story about a women who used to be a police officer and who now is very cautious because there is a serial killer at work in Baton Rouge, who has murdered three women and attempted four abductions in the past two weeks. Here the women speaks about being at a newspaper stand and noticing a bald man in the store who is watching her. She tries to ignore it and calls herself paranoid until her gut instinct tells her "he is stalking you". At this point she becomes very frantic because she does not own a gun anymore and is simply a "female civilian". Throughout the rest of the story we notice her paranoia because of what she has seen and heard of that has happened to many victims near the area. This is very similar to the boy in Westbury Court, who also hears about many incidents near his neighborhood, which makes him question his destiny. The structure of this story is suspenseful in the details that lead up to the end of the story. At the end the women questions her paranoia and realizes she is only paranoid because she is alive and needs to be. In both stories the characters question there destiny because what they have seen or heard and need to be cautious because they are alive and there is crime and violence everywhere.

"My Father always said"

The overall focus of this essay is about a girl who speaks about her previous generations that were treated very poorly, because she is a Rindheim Jewish girl. The gaps between each part of the essay seem to be the gaps along her journey of learning about the background of her culture. She begins with speaking of her father then there is a gap and she begins with their journey passed her father's old house.She then goes on to explain about how her father did not want her family to speak "the language of those who drove them out of Germany". Her father continues to show his family his old neighborhood and speak about how things were when he was a child.By the end of the story the girl seems to have learned a lot about her fathers childhood as well as her cultural background.

Montaigne and Orwell

Orwell, Shooting an Elephant and Montaigne, That Men Should Not Judge of Our Happiness Till After Our Death was similar to the contemporary example, Out There, by Jo Ann. These stories all have to do with the value of life. In Montaigne's story they say that you cannot judge a man's happiness until he has lived his life.In Orwell's story a man undergoes a challenge that seems easy until he is face to face with the situation, which is whether or not to shoot an elephant. And in the story, Out There , a lady is almost run off the road by a man trying to kill her but she survives. All three stories are very different but similar because all three of the stories have to do with the value of life. Whether it be deciding to take an animal's life, watching someone attempt to take your life, or judging a mans life right before he dies, they all intertwine with the value of life.
I thought it was very interesting that Orwell and Alexie's stories consisted of racism. The boy speaks about his life as a Spokane Indian living on a reservation in eastern Washington. Where he was expected to be stupid. "They wanted me to stay quiet when the non-Indian teacher asked for answers, for volunteers, for help.We were Indian children who expected to be stupid"(Alexie.129). Orwell's story also consisted of racism. "The owner was furious, but he was only an Indian and could do nothing.The older men said i was right , the younger men said it was a damn shame to shoot an elephant for killing a coolie,because an elephant was worth more than any damn Coringhee coolie."(Orwell.5) In both stories a certain race was discriminated whether it be the Indian boy who was expected to be stupid, or the man's life that meant less than an animals.

Kinkaid's Essay

Kinkaid's essay was very helpful to me in understanding what creative non fiction is. I really enjoyed his example of learning to ride a bicycle in comparison to creative non fiction. "Any definition of true worth to you as a writer will and must come to you experentially". He explained that when you look at what creative non fiction is you have an idea of what you may think it is but it's not until you have written creative non fiction that you will truely understand the word. CNF isn't just writing about yourself either, CNF is connecting the subject to yourself.

Lott's story, "The Biography of a Dress" was very similiar to the story, "Out There" because they both were telling a story. Lott's story was very intresting because she wrote about a time that I can barely even remeber she was about one and half years old.My earliest childhood memory is about four or five. And she can recal every detail and moment until she turned two years old and wore that dress her mother made. I thought it was unique that during the story she kept saying "but i did not know then what i know now" or " I do not know then and i do not know now". This specific piece added an idea that while your writing about a time in your past you can think about the present like she did and add onto your writing. Especially when you are writing about childhood memories because we are very naive and innocent as children and if we knew what we did now when we were children , everything would be quite different so i liked how she went back and fourth to what she knew as a child and what she knows as an adult.

My definition of CNF

Creative nonfiction- writing narratives that are factual about personal experience

My first post

Hi class it's Jaimesue, this is my first post.